A Love/ Hate Relationship

This post was supposed to be about the holiday Diwali and how cool all the lights were up around the city and in people's houses, and how crazily loud all the fireworks going off were. And there were to be lush descriptions of the food and sweets involved. But like all plans I have ever made here, India has a way of sneaking in and foiling them, either with a stealth attack or a big bang. Or in my case, a fever.

So there I was on Diwali, with a temperature of 102, feeling sorry for myself as all sick people seem to, and running all the possible outcomes of my illness through my mind. I mean, on the one hand, I could die. And when you're living in a developing country known for its tropical diseases, that doesn't seem like such a distant possibility. Or I could have to get shipped back to the US. Now this thought was interesting... and presented me with some conflicted emotions. I mean I'm at that point of being abroad where I'm getting homesick. It's fall in Oregon right now, the leaves are changing, there's that nip in the air but the sun is still just as likely to shine as it is to rain, the holidays are coming up and let me just say, the prospect of spending Thanksgiving and Christmas sandwiched between working days (since people don't get them off for normal holidays anyway), in balmy 85 degree weather without my family is less than ideal.

But on the other hand, I started to think about all that I would miss if I had to leave India right now. And I was suprised by what I came up with. Let me say right here, I realize I was being a tad dramatic, but when you have a fever, your mind tends to make up things and mine was already picturing the sad state India would be in without me and vice versa. Of course, I was able to daydream about what I wouldn't mind never seeing again as well. So what follows is a list of things that I would miss if I hadn't recovered from my mystery illness (pretty sure it was just the flu) and had to be packed home, feverish and clammy, before my time here was up, alongside of a few things I could most definitely do without:

Miss List:

1. My amazing Indian friends and my IDEX "Family" here -- you all know who you are and we haven't had near enough time to have a blast, argue, work together, and socialize yet.

2. My school -- Not only is my school Principal amazing but all of the students and teachers have made my experience at the very least more fulfilling than staying home working in a cubicle in Oregon.

3. The Chai guy down the road -- I walk by this guy every day, several times a day and have long since stopped buying chai from him. But he always waves, smiles happily, and says hello. Ditto the watchman at our neighborhood restaurant, the vegetable guy, the pharmacy workers across the street, and every staff member of Just Parantha.

4. On that note,I would miss my fruit and vegetable stands. I mean, it's nice to walk down the road, point at the stack of freshly cut papaya and watermelon and say "1 please" and voila, I have fruit. And the fresh vegetables housed in the roadside stand beat those at the supermarket anyday. And since I'm starved for anything healthy here, at least I can count these as small victories.

5. Hyderabad's "Western" clubs -- As a woman, we usually get into these for free and furthermore, as foreigners, we can often get our friends in for free as well. But the best part about these is the way they all try to fit a theme and for the most part, just miss the mark. But in a fun way. Take "10 Downing Street" which is modeled on an English pub but hasn't ever seen a pint of Guinness or a real English beer grace its bar. Still, it's endearing.

6. Cheap food - Spending less than a $1 on a fulling lunch, Pepsi in glass bottle included, is something I would dearly dearly DEARLY miss. Plus the quality of a streetside dosa or puri can't really be captured in how much you pay for it. So yummy. And so convenient. Well and all the food here is just delicious. So, yeah food in general.

7.And speaking of convenience, did you know you can get practically anything at practically any time? Okay well not really because the 24 hour culture that we have doesn't quite work here. But if you know the right people and places, that midnight chicken schwarma, served out of a watchman's post in front of an apartment building on Rd. 10 could just be yours.

8. Simplicity -- Okay so a lot of this country is complicated. Very complicated. And usually loud. But some things are just simpler and lack all the bells and whistles we have. Like my favorite steakhouse serves some of the best steaks I have ever had the joy of tasting, but the actual restaurant looks a bit sketchy to the western eye. No A/C, purple walls, less than stellar lighting. But that's the beauty of the place. Or the coffee place Lamakaan which also lacks A/C but has some of the cheapest wifi around, which is free, because of this. Not bad.

9. Autorickshaws -- A controversial declaration, I know. But really, there is something to be said about always being driven around by someone else. Yes they drive me crazy most of the time and yes I don't particularly like having to argue with someone every time I want to go somewhere. But traffic is one thing I don't worry about because these guys will mow down anyone in the way. And when I'm in the backseat on my way somewhere, that's just fine by me. Plus, those times when you get the rare happy auto driver who plays you some bollywood jams is always priceless.

10. Nothing is ever understaffed -- At times this can drive me crazy. I can't walk into a store anywhere without having some salesman descend upon me and continue to follow me around, making any browsing super awkward. And while having two servers to every one diner at a restaurant can also seem ridiculous and ineffecient, at least there is always one designated water pourer, one designated curry distributor, one separate roti deliverer, and of course, one biryani scooper.

11. Indian kids -- They go beyond just the school children. These are the kids on the street who stare at you with a gaping mouth, wondering if you have that skin disease that takes all the melanin out of your skin, or if you're just an alien. Yet they will usually wave and yell whatever English they know at you. "Hello how are you" being a favorite. Adorable.

12. Lack of lines -- Okay so this drove me absolutely crazy for about a month. And then I realized that I just need to get in on the deal. Just shove your way forward and unless you end up with a pushy Indian aunty behind you, no one really says anything. Okay wait. I think perfectionistic, type-A personality me still does hate this. But I'm adapting.

This brings me, briefly, to things I wouldn't miss about India. Sorry but I have to say it now.

The Not So Crazy About List:

1. The fluidity of time -- having studied abroad in Spain, I was all about not being rigidly on time and letting things go with the flow because everyone was consistently like 15-20 minutes late. But there is no consistency here. You say 30 minutes which can mean 15 minutes to one Indian and anywhere from 1 hour to 2 hours to another. And try as I might, 22 years of American punctuality being drilled into me won't escape. I just get more stressed out by you being late and unfortunately as a foreigner, if I'm left standing anywhere for any amount of time waiting for you, I'm kind of conscpicous. And by kind of I mean like a lot.

2. Autorickshaws -- Drivers consistently quote me prices 4 times what I should be paying just because I'm white. I will not pay 150 rupees from GVK to Rd. 12 (a 20 rupee journey) so if I literally laugh in your face, you know why.

3. Staring -- I'm so used to it now, it doesn't really phase me in Hyderabad. I've just come to terms with the fact that I'm a minor celebrity for like 10 months. But there's a difference between the quick start of surprise upon seeing my sadly pale skin or the blatant about-to-fall-off-your-motorbike because you noticed me walking by gaping. Didn't your mom ever teach you staring was rude?

4. Nothing is ever understaffed -- Yet still everything takes twice as long. I once ordered a mango smoothie from a restaurant down the road that I'm pretty sure is just a cover for a drug dealing ring. Because it should not take five men an hour and half to make one smoothie. Unless your actually milking the cow, going to pick the mango, and then hand mixing. I am not exaggerating. An hour and half. Oh yes and the 1sr man at the liquor store can only pack your liquor. You must wait for the 2nd man on the phone to be told to tell the third man (who is within earshot) how much change to give you while a 3rd man unlocks the lock box and passes the change back to the 2nd man to give to you.

5.Pollution, traffic, and lack of green -- My Hyderabadi friends would be quick to point out that there is green in Hyderabad. I'm sorry though, one park doesn't really count. And when walking around that park entails breathing in exahust that I'm pretty sure takes 10 minutes off my life for every minute I inhale, it definitely isn't the oasis of calm I need to escape life in India.

6. Public urination -- To a man, India is a giant urinal. Really. Anytime, anywhere, just pull your car/auto/bike/cow over to the side of the road and do your business in the wide open. And make sure you do it upwind so that lovely smell of ammonia will reach the nose of anyone in a 20 meter radius. Lovely.

7.Doing something just because one person thought it was a good idea -- Yes you should listen to your boss. But just because your boss once told you to save money by packing all of the customer's groceries into one bag doesn't mean you should continue to do it, even if that one bag is physically impossible for said customer to lift. And on that note, what genuis decided you must pay for something, get your receipt stamped saying you paid it, and then show that receipt again upon exit of a building to a security guard who hole punches it even though he just saw you get the receipt stamped and your hands are full? Ditto on the useless metal detectors and pat downs at malls but having no security to get on a long distance train ride.

8. Buses that don't go where they say they go -- That bus goes to Amberpet. Or so the sign posted clearly on the front says. So imagine your suprise when the ticket man comes to get money from you and you say "Amberpet" and he promptly shakes his head and pushes you out at the next stop.

9. No one ever has change -- Just once I would like to pay for a 100 rupee item ($2) with a thousand rupees ($20) and not get any complaints, moans or "no change madam" responses. For a country who has a rapidly expanding economy, no one ever has any change ever. Which is always a lie as the cashbox brimming with 100s that the cashier just hid from sight shows. Everyone is just hoarding their change from everyone else but the ATM doesn't seem to care...

Okay I think that's enough India for most of you for now. My fever has long since disappated and I am back to loving/hating life here as per usual. But I guess that's the point. Why go somewhere where I'm happy all the time or sad all the time? You have to dislike some things to like other things. And if there's one thing India has taught me it's never underestimate the power of the good to paint over the bad, because how else do you think people survive here?