[Miss]Communication?

The one thing about this blog is that many of my Indian friends have decided to start reading it too. Which is fine. Unless I want to post sweeping generalizations or help perpetuate stereotypes and I'm afraid I may just be doing that now. Luckily though, their presence serves to keep me honest and from totally misrepresenting the country as a whole. So I will start this post by apologizing for the things I am about to describe and for the fact that I will probably get things completely wrong or offend. All in good fun, right? You see, I briefly contemplated discussing something important and serious, like corruption in the country or the state of poverty in the city. But those can wait and India receives enough bad press sometimes without me having to perpetuate it. Instead, I decided it’s time to expose my western audience to the eccentricities of the Southern (or even just Hyderabadi) Indian way of communicating. Not to say that one way is better than the other. To the contrary, I am finding a lot of things in India a bit more my style than what I see in the US. Yet it still bears mention that some things are, well, different.

So let’s start with a simple act that I have already mentioned a few times in my blog. The head wobble. Actually this isn’t an epidemic in all parts of India but if you spend enough time hanging around my school or with auto rickshaw drivers, you learn quite quickly that this has taken the place of any direct “yes” in the country. In fact, it is so prevalent that I find myself doing it without thinking. I didn’t realize this until I was on a recent Skype conversation with a friend back home. She asked me a simple yes or no question and I responded by moving my head first right and then left and saying “ha” or yes. “Umm Jenny, what did you just do?” was the response. Of course, on the other side of things is the tongue click. If you want to respond to someone by saying no or if you make a mistake you just sort of incline your head to one side and make a “tisk” noise. Way easier than verbalizing the word no.

Now time to move on to the distinct way that many Indians use English. Again, these are only things I have heard and seen from a few and not all, but they’re prevalent enough to warrant some attention. First of all, everyone is a "sir" or "madam." When I arrived I was horrible at remembering to add sir, miss, or madam to the end of the names of teachers at my school. Now, I've reached such proficiency that I need to stop myself when talking to Americans. They would just be weirded out. And if I had a rupee for every time I saw a sign advertising a restaurant-cum-bar or a spa-cum-hair salon, well I’d probably have 100 rupees. Vestiges of the Old Colonizer definitely still remain. I mean, here, instead of waiting in line at the drugstore for reading glasses, I would queue at the dispensary for spectacles. And then there’s the small things that often take me a few minutes to understand. For instance, if someone says they are “mostly” going to do something, it means they will. Like “I am mostly coming to visit” means that they will come to visit. Or “shift.” People don’t move to houses or locations, instead they “shift to Chennai.” And my personal favorites are the abbreviations everyone here uses. You remember how teenage girls were known for texting things like “c u l8r?” Well that is not just a youth phenomenon here. Everyone does it. From Facebook, to texts, even to movie titles like “I Hate Luv Storys” (yes stories is spelled wrong, I hope purposefully) or “C U at 9” (actual movie title, can you believe it?) And now I am just as guilty, often reverting back to my 7th grade self via text messages or Facebook chat and using way more emoticons than I ever have before in my life. Just be glad I'm not even starting on the misspelling or randomly worded signs I see because that alone could comprise a few blog posts...

Most importantly though must be the way people get what they want. I have already complained about the amount of time it often takes me to get things or order them, such as the catastrophe of our wifi purchasing in July showed. But now things are quite simple. If someone says "Sunday," I usually plan for Wednesday. And if you want to make extra sure something gets done or gets done well, just slip in ten rupees or twenty rupees and that'll do the trick. And if people still aren't listening to you? That's when you pull the "I'm disappointed in you, I will take my business elsewhere, can't anyone do this right" card. Because while people may grumble and complain (the customer is always right mentality DEFINITELY doesn't apply here), they realize they have a lot of competition for your business since the guy next door is probably selling the exact same thing.

Of course, this leaves me with some of the aspects I love most about Indian communication. For one, people are so direct here. "What is your name" can just as promptly be followed up with "How much money do you make." If someone has any problem at school, they come directly to me with it. Or if you are in the woman's way on her scooter, she'll yell at you immediately. No beating around the bush here. And this also makes people so much more affectionate and generous. It didn't take long for the girls at school to be telling me how much they love "Jenny Ma'am" or for my school teachers to try and force feed me everything in sight when they thought I looked too thin! Me, too thin? Ha! I think that's the moment I feel in love with this country...So for now, especially to my lovely Indian friends, keep on keeping on. Or as you say, cu l8r ;)