Marriage on My Mind

Allow me to preface this with two disclaimers right from the start. 1) I stole this blog idea from my flatmate after having a discussion about this very topic. And 2) Don't worry, this blog isn't about MY personal life.

Well now that the air is cleared I can begin. It's wedding season in Hyderabad. Which means not a day goes by without lucky households being decorated in strings of lights, a well-dressed man riding down the street on a white horse (believe me, I've actually seen this), or one invitation to an obscure relative's wedding from a school teacher, school teacher's sister, or school teacher's neighbor's best friend's brother. And whether the wedding is Muslim, Hindu or Christian, there seems to be a certain level of prestige from having a foreigner you may not even personally know come to your wedding.

With this in mind, last Friday I attended my first wedding celebration, accompanying two of my flatmates. Yes the invitation was for the sister's wedding of my flatmate's teacher who I had never met. But no matter. As we'd say here in Hyderabadi English, "wedding invitation is there." So we saree'd up, quite literally, and hopped into an autorickshaw to a promising sounding function hall called "Officer's Mess." Hmmmm. Anyway, we arrived a full hour later than we were advised to, which is to say at 9PM because all weddings take place late in the evening here. And of course, in true Indian fashion, no one was there. Like the servers literally had to turn on the lights and fan for the three of us on the women's side. Whoops, that reminds me. Since it was a Muslim wedding, men and women sat on separate sides of the divider and didn't actually see each other. But that's kind of the point. Because it enables the women to take off their burqas and the fashion show really begins. You see,you'd be surprised by what women wear under their burqas, and how much detail goes into these outfits. For the wedding alone, the teacher from my friend's school dropped 18,000 rupees (roughly $360, or more than 9 times her monthly income give or take a few hundred rupees) and suffered under 30 pounds of embroidery and sequins for her outfit. And everyone was dressed in their best. I was starting to be very happy indeed I had finally gone out and purchased a saree except now I just want a nicer and more expensive one. Just because I'm foreign doesn't mean I don't care...

Eventually the bride showed up and we were ushered into the dining hall for women, where we were bombarded with pounds of food. And since it was a Muslim wedding, there was meat of all types! The prevalence of a Muslim population and their fondness for some good chicken is definitely one of the perks of living in Hyderabad. So we stuffed ourselves happily while chatting with the bride's family and friends, only to realize the bride herself wouldn't eat until around 3AM after all the other guests had eaten. Then we were pushed up on stage to sit with the bride and her family and take pictures. And of course to watch everyone else watching us. We spoke a bit with the bride, who was dressed in a beautiful emerald bride's skirt and top, henna decorating her hands, and jewelery that must have weighed more than she did. She said she was happy and excited but she looked a bit scared. Which brings me to my main point: the topic of arranged marriage.

When foreigners think of India, arranged marriages are usually one of the topics of discussion that spring to mind. How backward can a country be?, we often think. Or, how could any family force their daughters or sons into this? Well, here's the thing. I've always been one of those people who has been appalled by the idea as well. In fact, even now, the very idea of an arranged marriage for myself sends shivers down my spine. But, like most else about this country, you can't paint it with such a fine brush. Life is colored many more shades of gray here than most people realize. So here goes my attempt to explain some of the rationale behind arranged marriages here. Feel free to add in your own two cents worth.

As I've already written, one of my good friends here will most likely have an arranged marriage. But it's more like an arranged dating service, with parents picking out someone, the pair meeting up, then deciding if they want to keep seeing each other and going from there, or deciding to not proceed. Fair enough. Not much different than having your parents say "have you met so-and-so's son? He would be just your type..." However, this is from a rather progressive family. On the other hand, there are marriages where the partners don't really get a chance to meet each other beforehand. Or there are the ones where partners meet in supervised situations and both the potential bride and groom are asked their opinions before the marriage takes place. And there are arrangements of all types in between. Bear in mind too that even for the most westernized families here, the perfect age for marriage is in the early to mid-twenties.

In a culture where tradition has such deep roots, there are many men and women who do not have the opportunity to interact with one another quite so readily as we do. I'm not describing my Indian friends of course who mingle just like any of my American friends do. But I am describing the teachers at my school, the students, and the average person working and living throughout the city. If you're a good, traditional girl from a respectable Muslim or Hindu family, you don't really have many male friends and your dating pool remains small or nonexistent. An arranged marriage is really your only option and you've grown up trusting that your parents can make the right choice for you. Respecting your elders and your family is paramount to Indian society. And also in a country where men outnumber the women, arranged marriages are a means to perserve some order while people are competing for scarce resources. In fact, one businessman here once told us that the best way to frame Indian cultural behavior is by putting it in terms of the centuries of competition its members have faced: for food,land and water initially, and now, for women, train tickets, and autorickshaws.

I'm not anywhere near sold on the arranged marriage idea although I have met a fair share of people who claim true love and great marriages have come of it. However, these same people will cite low divorce rates in India to which I respond that divorce is much more of a taboo here and much more difficult although not unheard of (my schoolowner herself is divorced). And if you read the newspapers here you will see articles every day about a couple committing suicide because their parents won't agree on a marriage. While I couldn't help but feel a bit solemn at the wedding I went to, where the bride was my age and had probably never spent more than a night away from her family in her life, at least I could appreciate some of the sentiment behind it.

Moral of the story? Don't expect me to be looking for an arranged marriage any time soon, but don't expect me to condemn it in no uncertain terms. The most definitive opinion I can present? Ain't no party like an Indian wedding party....

Turkeying Around

This week I am going to at least attempt to avoid the cliché of blogging about all that I am thankful for. Because truth be told, I have already done that on Facebook. And while I have a lot to be thankful for, at the moment, I am also struggling with not being with my family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving weekend. Suffice it to say I am certainly NOT thankful for the price of airline tickets or the low number of vacation days I receive here. Going home at all in November or December is unfortunately not an option.

Therefore, I am left to ponder the anomaly of Thanksgiving from an Indian perspective. Trying to explain the holiday to my schoolchildren or the school’s principal has made me realize how crazy of a holiday it is. I mean, for one, there is no religion involved at all, but it is quite different from other national holidays that correspond with an exact event. And the irony, oh the irony. While I was giving a brief background on the pilgrims and Native Americans feasting together, Madam Lohia asked why we celebrate if we just ended up killing all of the Native Americans after such a “peaceful feast.” Yeah. We try to ignore that bit. So then I went on to say how it is really about recognizing the good things you have in your life and exercising gratitude for them. Now this is something most Indians can relate to. I mean, being super family-oriented is a way of life here as is a culture of consumption eerily similar to ours. A person may not be that well-off but they’ll be damned if they don’t have the newest smart phone and take every opportunity to show it off. Of course, I explained that it’s mostly not about material things but non-material things. To which the response was “shouldn’t you be thankful for these every day? Why just one day?”

At this point, I was feeling a little less than enthused about one of my favorite days of the year. It felt kind of like someone pointing out all the grammar mistakes in your just completed thesis or outlining all the reasons why eating cookies can be hazardous for your health. And it was then that I realized, who cares? I mean, there are plenty of holidays and traditions around the world that don’t seem to make much sense at all, especially to the uninitiated. I mean I just saw thousands of elephant god statues submerged in water one month, and the next, families that happily buy their meat from the grocery store 364 days a year were slitting the throats of goats in their front yards. And I mean, think of the running of the bulls in Spain, or, my personal favorite, the Wife-Carrying Festival in Europe. While I am not exactly comparing Thanksgiving to an event where burly beer-bellied men sling their wives over their shoulders and race through mud, I am saying that I don’t get the nuances because I’m observing from the outside, yet that doesn’t make it any less special to the people participating. Besides, Thanksgiving really exists as an excuse to take a breather, be around the people who matter the most to you, and just enjoy the good things in life, for a day. I mean, yes, Christmas is great too, but there’s so much pressure around buying presents, so much commercialization, and maybe not so much gratitude involved.

However, don’t feel too sorry for me, stuck in some far-flung country where Thanksgiving is little more than two unrelated words strung together in most people’s 2nd or 3rd language. Through some connections and the relatively small Ex-pat community here, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving as best we can. This translates into cooking three turkeys (one of which we are attempting to fry – I guess a product of putting ten 20something males in charge of the turkey preparation) and we will have stuffing, pies (I’m praying for pumpkin), potatoes and other necessities. All of this will be cooked in the comfort of the home of one of the Foreign Service Officers we have met here. And football or holiday movies have been promised. I do have to say this is a step up from spending my Thanksgiving in Spain aimlessly wandering the streets for pumpkin pie, but then again, we did have delicious wine and tapas to eat instead. And while the IDEX family is definitely a step up from celebrating with no one, it’s most certainly not my family. Nor will it be my Mom’s stuffing recipe or gravy being used. But permit me the corniness of at least saying I am thankful to have IDEX here and for our large piecemeal celebration, in 85 degree sunshine, deep in the heart of India. Yes it would be 100 times better to be with my family but if being abroad has taught me anything, it’s that you make do with what you have and you create what you don’t. And that’s incredibly rewarding.

Revival

Hopefully, by now dear readers, you realize that there really is not a theme for this blog, other than to the extent that I write what is on my mind. So it comes as no surprise that this post is a bit of a jump from the last one. Living in India has brought to the forefront many things that are important to me but it has also pushed a few things to the wayside. And this week has presented several opportunities to remind me of these.

One of these was our tour of Hyderabad's CIIGBC building, the first LEED certified platinum green building outside of the United States. For the unintiated, LEED certification stands for Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design and platinum is the highest rating a building can achieve. In fact, it was such a big deal that the building was inaugurated by the Indian President in 2003 and received a visit from President Bill Clinton. But I digress. We took a tour of this building, which has carbon sensored air conditioning units to track the number of people in the building and adjust the cooling unit accordingly. The roof of the building is also completely covered in grass and plants, and somehow, through a fancy feat of engineering I don't understand, it takes the hot water that drains from the roof and uses the extreme heat of the roof to make the water extremely cold and to help cool the building as well. Plus the carpet comes from recycled coke cans, the toilet is ammonia elimnating so the "water" can be reused, the chairs are made of wood waste, the windows are double-paned with an inert gas to facilitate temperature control and lots of other cool stuff.

The tour made me realize how much I had forgotten about environmental considerations here. I mean, people literally through their trash out the windows of their cars while driving, recycling bottles and other plastics is unheard of, and nighttime "clean up crews" are a joke. I used to care about doing my part but here I've been sucked into a culture of waste for the sake of convenience. I mean, it's way more convenient to just throw my Subway wrapper out the car window than to actually take it to a trash can, and it's allowed. But it's attitudes like this that also scare me a bit. For a country that will soon have the largest population in the world to take such a haphazard attitude towards the environment doesn't seem to bode well for the future. Of course, we Americans are horribly wasteful in our consumption but at least most of us have been trained well to turn off lights when we're not in a room or use the trash can and recycle bottles. So, here's my pledge to try to return to this. For now, India is my adoptive country and I can't help but feel a bit responsible for taking care of it any way I can. And my guilty conscience is starting to weigh on me.

The second thing that happened this week is that we were invited to a dinner at the US Consul General's house. As many of you know, I had foreign service aspirations, going so far as to take the FSOT before this IDEX opportunity presented itself. Being surrounded by Americans who were doing what I had considered my dream job was refreshing. While some were young and on their first post (apparently Hyderabad is considered a 20/30 on hardship postings; Lagos in Nigeria is 25. I wish I would get hardship pay here!), others, including the Consul General, had been all over the world. And all love their jobs. While you have to pay your dues at the beginning, working on visa applications, there is a huge opportunity for advancement and honestly, the perks aren't half bad. Of course, I did ask about the worst part of the job and the answers were inevitably similar to any other employees of the government, but these seemed small in comparison to the benefits.

I left the house determined to take the test again and try my hand at the State Department if possible. I mean, I passed it last time so how hard can a second time be? Let's hope I just didn't jinx myself. I also have realized that I feel a bit more positive towards the possible opportunity to stay and work in India next year as well. And at least now I am feeling much more in tune with myself again. It's been a hard four months and I've had to confront personal and professional challenges that I've never experienced before. But now it's time to take a breath and really start to do things for myself and my personal growth too and return to what is important to me. No more getting lost in my busy schedule or the job. And with that, time to go plan what side dishes to bring to our Thanksgiving feast for next week. Happy Turkey Day in advance!

Doubts

I have a doubt.

In India, people don’t have questions, they have doubts. For instance, in class, a student will say “Miss, I have a doubt about this problem.” And today, I find this phrase much more apropos than what we would say. Question just doesn’t cut it.
You see, I am enjoying the fellowship, I really am. But the other day it dawned on me that I am lacking a bit of the passion in what I do. It is hard to see the impact you are making and while personally I am learning a lot, I am not feeling much like a change agent. Instead, I feel like many people in development must—like a well-intentioned foreigner who really is only scratching the surface of the world’s poverty, economic inequality, and quality of life problems. So what to do?

And then of course there is the doubt about the future. The all-encompassing question of “what are you going to be when you grow up?” I thought I had this figured out. For all intents and purposes I was going to be the next Muhammad Yunus in microfinance or Jeffrey Sachs in academia, both working to bridge the poverty gap. But now I don’t know how to get to that path. And I question if that is even a path or just a combination of luck, happenstance and some foresight on their parts.

So yes, for the next several months I will be working to rediscover that passion. I know it’s there, I just feel like the noise and craziness of life here has coated it over with a bit of dust. So the real doubt becomes, what do I make of my life from here? It is not too early to be asking this question and as the days seem to slip by without me even realizing it, I am beginning to think now is the time to start deciding. I mean, do I stay in India next year and possible help to manage the IDEX program at a city here? Is this where I can see the true impact of what we’re doing and help to sustain and continue it? Or do I stay here and try to work for an NGO or social enterprise to be as hands on as possible, even if the income I make is less than ideal?

Yet staying in India doesn’t mean things will stay the same. The people that are the most important to me here are all leaving for various locations and life paths. And my friends and family back home will be beyond disappointed in not having me around for another year. Despite my homesickness, especially with the upcoming holidays, going home long term seems too soon. If I go home, I know I will not be able to find something that makes me feel like the change practitioner I want to be, assuming I find any job at all. Only so much can be done from sitting behind a cubicle, even if it is a cubicle at a hard-working organization. And I haven’t even breached on the subject of what to do about graduate school.

The thing about living and working here is it is hard. Harder than anything I will probably ever experience. In order to make it here, I get so caught up in the day to day that I forget to take a step back and look at the whole picture. I need to do this more. So now, it remains to be seen where this fellowship and the future will take me but I just hope I find my calling sooner rather than later. Thanks for lending me an ear and for putting up with an introspective blog that probably bores you. I’m open for suggestions/ life advice/ job offers if you feel so inclined. I promise next time there will be some more fun to be read about.

A Love/ Hate Relationship

This post was supposed to be about the holiday Diwali and how cool all the lights were up around the city and in people's houses, and how crazily loud all the fireworks going off were. And there were to be lush descriptions of the food and sweets involved. But like all plans I have ever made here, India has a way of sneaking in and foiling them, either with a stealth attack or a big bang. Or in my case, a fever.

So there I was on Diwali, with a temperature of 102, feeling sorry for myself as all sick people seem to, and running all the possible outcomes of my illness through my mind. I mean, on the one hand, I could die. And when you're living in a developing country known for its tropical diseases, that doesn't seem like such a distant possibility. Or I could have to get shipped back to the US. Now this thought was interesting... and presented me with some conflicted emotions. I mean I'm at that point of being abroad where I'm getting homesick. It's fall in Oregon right now, the leaves are changing, there's that nip in the air but the sun is still just as likely to shine as it is to rain, the holidays are coming up and let me just say, the prospect of spending Thanksgiving and Christmas sandwiched between working days (since people don't get them off for normal holidays anyway), in balmy 85 degree weather without my family is less than ideal.

But on the other hand, I started to think about all that I would miss if I had to leave India right now. And I was suprised by what I came up with. Let me say right here, I realize I was being a tad dramatic, but when you have a fever, your mind tends to make up things and mine was already picturing the sad state India would be in without me and vice versa. Of course, I was able to daydream about what I wouldn't mind never seeing again as well. So what follows is a list of things that I would miss if I hadn't recovered from my mystery illness (pretty sure it was just the flu) and had to be packed home, feverish and clammy, before my time here was up, alongside of a few things I could most definitely do without:

Miss List:

1. My amazing Indian friends and my IDEX "Family" here -- you all know who you are and we haven't had near enough time to have a blast, argue, work together, and socialize yet.

2. My school -- Not only is my school Principal amazing but all of the students and teachers have made my experience at the very least more fulfilling than staying home working in a cubicle in Oregon.

3. The Chai guy down the road -- I walk by this guy every day, several times a day and have long since stopped buying chai from him. But he always waves, smiles happily, and says hello. Ditto the watchman at our neighborhood restaurant, the vegetable guy, the pharmacy workers across the street, and every staff member of Just Parantha.

4. On that note,I would miss my fruit and vegetable stands. I mean, it's nice to walk down the road, point at the stack of freshly cut papaya and watermelon and say "1 please" and voila, I have fruit. And the fresh vegetables housed in the roadside stand beat those at the supermarket anyday. And since I'm starved for anything healthy here, at least I can count these as small victories.

5. Hyderabad's "Western" clubs -- As a woman, we usually get into these for free and furthermore, as foreigners, we can often get our friends in for free as well. But the best part about these is the way they all try to fit a theme and for the most part, just miss the mark. But in a fun way. Take "10 Downing Street" which is modeled on an English pub but hasn't ever seen a pint of Guinness or a real English beer grace its bar. Still, it's endearing.

6. Cheap food - Spending less than a $1 on a fulling lunch, Pepsi in glass bottle included, is something I would dearly dearly DEARLY miss. Plus the quality of a streetside dosa or puri can't really be captured in how much you pay for it. So yummy. And so convenient. Well and all the food here is just delicious. So, yeah food in general.

7.And speaking of convenience, did you know you can get practically anything at practically any time? Okay well not really because the 24 hour culture that we have doesn't quite work here. But if you know the right people and places, that midnight chicken schwarma, served out of a watchman's post in front of an apartment building on Rd. 10 could just be yours.

8. Simplicity -- Okay so a lot of this country is complicated. Very complicated. And usually loud. But some things are just simpler and lack all the bells and whistles we have. Like my favorite steakhouse serves some of the best steaks I have ever had the joy of tasting, but the actual restaurant looks a bit sketchy to the western eye. No A/C, purple walls, less than stellar lighting. But that's the beauty of the place. Or the coffee place Lamakaan which also lacks A/C but has some of the cheapest wifi around, which is free, because of this. Not bad.

9. Autorickshaws -- A controversial declaration, I know. But really, there is something to be said about always being driven around by someone else. Yes they drive me crazy most of the time and yes I don't particularly like having to argue with someone every time I want to go somewhere. But traffic is one thing I don't worry about because these guys will mow down anyone in the way. And when I'm in the backseat on my way somewhere, that's just fine by me. Plus, those times when you get the rare happy auto driver who plays you some bollywood jams is always priceless.

10. Nothing is ever understaffed -- At times this can drive me crazy. I can't walk into a store anywhere without having some salesman descend upon me and continue to follow me around, making any browsing super awkward. And while having two servers to every one diner at a restaurant can also seem ridiculous and ineffecient, at least there is always one designated water pourer, one designated curry distributor, one separate roti deliverer, and of course, one biryani scooper.

11. Indian kids -- They go beyond just the school children. These are the kids on the street who stare at you with a gaping mouth, wondering if you have that skin disease that takes all the melanin out of your skin, or if you're just an alien. Yet they will usually wave and yell whatever English they know at you. "Hello how are you" being a favorite. Adorable.

12. Lack of lines -- Okay so this drove me absolutely crazy for about a month. And then I realized that I just need to get in on the deal. Just shove your way forward and unless you end up with a pushy Indian aunty behind you, no one really says anything. Okay wait. I think perfectionistic, type-A personality me still does hate this. But I'm adapting.

This brings me, briefly, to things I wouldn't miss about India. Sorry but I have to say it now.

The Not So Crazy About List:

1. The fluidity of time -- having studied abroad in Spain, I was all about not being rigidly on time and letting things go with the flow because everyone was consistently like 15-20 minutes late. But there is no consistency here. You say 30 minutes which can mean 15 minutes to one Indian and anywhere from 1 hour to 2 hours to another. And try as I might, 22 years of American punctuality being drilled into me won't escape. I just get more stressed out by you being late and unfortunately as a foreigner, if I'm left standing anywhere for any amount of time waiting for you, I'm kind of conscpicous. And by kind of I mean like a lot.

2. Autorickshaws -- Drivers consistently quote me prices 4 times what I should be paying just because I'm white. I will not pay 150 rupees from GVK to Rd. 12 (a 20 rupee journey) so if I literally laugh in your face, you know why.

3. Staring -- I'm so used to it now, it doesn't really phase me in Hyderabad. I've just come to terms with the fact that I'm a minor celebrity for like 10 months. But there's a difference between the quick start of surprise upon seeing my sadly pale skin or the blatant about-to-fall-off-your-motorbike because you noticed me walking by gaping. Didn't your mom ever teach you staring was rude?

4. Nothing is ever understaffed -- Yet still everything takes twice as long. I once ordered a mango smoothie from a restaurant down the road that I'm pretty sure is just a cover for a drug dealing ring. Because it should not take five men an hour and half to make one smoothie. Unless your actually milking the cow, going to pick the mango, and then hand mixing. I am not exaggerating. An hour and half. Oh yes and the 1sr man at the liquor store can only pack your liquor. You must wait for the 2nd man on the phone to be told to tell the third man (who is within earshot) how much change to give you while a 3rd man unlocks the lock box and passes the change back to the 2nd man to give to you.

5.Pollution, traffic, and lack of green -- My Hyderabadi friends would be quick to point out that there is green in Hyderabad. I'm sorry though, one park doesn't really count. And when walking around that park entails breathing in exahust that I'm pretty sure takes 10 minutes off my life for every minute I inhale, it definitely isn't the oasis of calm I need to escape life in India.

6. Public urination -- To a man, India is a giant urinal. Really. Anytime, anywhere, just pull your car/auto/bike/cow over to the side of the road and do your business in the wide open. And make sure you do it upwind so that lovely smell of ammonia will reach the nose of anyone in a 20 meter radius. Lovely.

7.Doing something just because one person thought it was a good idea -- Yes you should listen to your boss. But just because your boss once told you to save money by packing all of the customer's groceries into one bag doesn't mean you should continue to do it, even if that one bag is physically impossible for said customer to lift. And on that note, what genuis decided you must pay for something, get your receipt stamped saying you paid it, and then show that receipt again upon exit of a building to a security guard who hole punches it even though he just saw you get the receipt stamped and your hands are full? Ditto on the useless metal detectors and pat downs at malls but having no security to get on a long distance train ride.

8. Buses that don't go where they say they go -- That bus goes to Amberpet. Or so the sign posted clearly on the front says. So imagine your suprise when the ticket man comes to get money from you and you say "Amberpet" and he promptly shakes his head and pushes you out at the next stop.

9. No one ever has change -- Just once I would like to pay for a 100 rupee item ($2) with a thousand rupees ($20) and not get any complaints, moans or "no change madam" responses. For a country who has a rapidly expanding economy, no one ever has any change ever. Which is always a lie as the cashbox brimming with 100s that the cashier just hid from sight shows. Everyone is just hoarding their change from everyone else but the ATM doesn't seem to care...

Okay I think that's enough India for most of you for now. My fever has long since disappated and I am back to loving/hating life here as per usual. But I guess that's the point. Why go somewhere where I'm happy all the time or sad all the time? You have to dislike some things to like other things. And if there's one thing India has taught me it's never underestimate the power of the good to paint over the bad, because how else do you think people survive here?

Why yes, I do have a job

Over the past few weeks, many of you have fallen under the impression that my time in India is all about traveling, eating, hanging out with friends, with the occasional visit to my school thrown in. And while the IDEX Fellowship is about expanding your horizons, it may surprise you all who know my social butterfly ways that I still have a job to do and I think it's been a while since you've heard about it. I take it for granted that my day-to-day life in school and at meetings is rather boring for you, yet in order to really get a full picture of life in Hyderabad, you do have to understand a bit more about what I am doing and why. Well and this helps assuage my conscience because I have been really neglectful about staying in contact with a lot of you. But I promise- I have evening meetings at least 2-3 times a week and even have events to attend on the weekends. So I don't love you all any less! But back to work...

So social enterprise. I know in my first post I attempted to explain what I was doing under the fellowship and I believe I did a rather poor job. First, I should probably explain what the whole concept of social enterprise is. Social enterprise is about combining business acumen with a social mission although many social enterpreneurs don't even realize they are doing both. You see, most of our school owners see themselves as businessmen(or women) plain and simple. Perhaps they are doing a good deed for the kids in the city but at the end of the day, their bottom line is what matters most. But this doesn't really make them any less of social entrepreneurs. Our job is to help them not only with their business model but to enhance the quality of the social service they are delivering. And outside of the schools, we all interviewed and were selected for various Professional Development positions with other social entreprises around the city and the country.

So what does this look like? Well in my case, I am focusing heavily on extra-curriculars and infrastructure improvements in my school. For instance, I plan to get some semblance of a library up and running, have created drama and art clubs for students to express themselves outside of academia, have connected 5th graders in the US with 6th graders at my school through a pen pal program, will help run a cricket league and spelling bee, have been holding computer and English training seminars for the teachers in my school, and am a resource to bring in career training and other educational services to better the school.

I am also currently working with the Indian School Finance Company which services many of the slum schools in Hyderabad. ISFC gives loans to schools for infrastructural improvements where most banks fail. However, as ISFC has only been up and running for several years, there is still a lack of information about the impact of these loans. And that's where me and another fellow come in. We will be visiting at least 50 of these schools to conduct in-depth interviews with the school owners and creating a profile for each of these. We will also be compiling a SIM survey for all 247 schools with loans to complete. At the end of the year, we hope to have a report detailing ISFC impact and a template for measuring future needs within the community.

And of course, all of this has created one of the least structured work schedules of my life. I mean, I do go to school on a regular basis although some days are shorter or longer than others depending on other work commitments. But then it's the random meetings, information sessions, and other group collaberations that come on a irregular basis. And this being India, meeting times are moved around, cancelled or change location on a last minute basis all the time. Just part of the Indian business scene.Yet I have had an opportunity not only to collaberate with other fellows who have great ideas, but also meet movers and shakers in the development scene and even in Indian business. Multi-millionaires and CEOs of some of the most exciting social enterprises in Hyderabad? Been there, done that.

So yes, I do work, actually more than I expect most weeks. My 9-5, Monday-Friday internship seems like another lifetime, especially when I sit in on a teacher training session all day Saturday or spend Sunday afternoons in group meetings. But it's already been a fulfilling experience. I mean, things definitely don't work out like I expect them to, pretty much all the time, but they also take unexpected turns for the better. There really isn't anything to beat the feeling of having a student at school excited to learn or your school owner impressed by an idea you have and seeing it implemented in your school. It's about the small changes you can make and the individual connections. Maybe I won't change the world, or even India, or even Hyderabad, but perhaps I can change things for the better at Lohia's Little Angels High School. I sure hope so...

[Miss]Communication?

The one thing about this blog is that many of my Indian friends have decided to start reading it too. Which is fine. Unless I want to post sweeping generalizations or help perpetuate stereotypes and I'm afraid I may just be doing that now. Luckily though, their presence serves to keep me honest and from totally misrepresenting the country as a whole. So I will start this post by apologizing for the things I am about to describe and for the fact that I will probably get things completely wrong or offend. All in good fun, right? You see, I briefly contemplated discussing something important and serious, like corruption in the country or the state of poverty in the city. But those can wait and India receives enough bad press sometimes without me having to perpetuate it. Instead, I decided it’s time to expose my western audience to the eccentricities of the Southern (or even just Hyderabadi) Indian way of communicating. Not to say that one way is better than the other. To the contrary, I am finding a lot of things in India a bit more my style than what I see in the US. Yet it still bears mention that some things are, well, different.

So let’s start with a simple act that I have already mentioned a few times in my blog. The head wobble. Actually this isn’t an epidemic in all parts of India but if you spend enough time hanging around my school or with auto rickshaw drivers, you learn quite quickly that this has taken the place of any direct “yes” in the country. In fact, it is so prevalent that I find myself doing it without thinking. I didn’t realize this until I was on a recent Skype conversation with a friend back home. She asked me a simple yes or no question and I responded by moving my head first right and then left and saying “ha” or yes. “Umm Jenny, what did you just do?” was the response. Of course, on the other side of things is the tongue click. If you want to respond to someone by saying no or if you make a mistake you just sort of incline your head to one side and make a “tisk” noise. Way easier than verbalizing the word no.

Now time to move on to the distinct way that many Indians use English. Again, these are only things I have heard and seen from a few and not all, but they’re prevalent enough to warrant some attention. First of all, everyone is a "sir" or "madam." When I arrived I was horrible at remembering to add sir, miss, or madam to the end of the names of teachers at my school. Now, I've reached such proficiency that I need to stop myself when talking to Americans. They would just be weirded out. And if I had a rupee for every time I saw a sign advertising a restaurant-cum-bar or a spa-cum-hair salon, well I’d probably have 100 rupees. Vestiges of the Old Colonizer definitely still remain. I mean, here, instead of waiting in line at the drugstore for reading glasses, I would queue at the dispensary for spectacles. And then there’s the small things that often take me a few minutes to understand. For instance, if someone says they are “mostly” going to do something, it means they will. Like “I am mostly coming to visit” means that they will come to visit. Or “shift.” People don’t move to houses or locations, instead they “shift to Chennai.” And my personal favorites are the abbreviations everyone here uses. You remember how teenage girls were known for texting things like “c u l8r?” Well that is not just a youth phenomenon here. Everyone does it. From Facebook, to texts, even to movie titles like “I Hate Luv Storys” (yes stories is spelled wrong, I hope purposefully) or “C U at 9” (actual movie title, can you believe it?) And now I am just as guilty, often reverting back to my 7th grade self via text messages or Facebook chat and using way more emoticons than I ever have before in my life. Just be glad I'm not even starting on the misspelling or randomly worded signs I see because that alone could comprise a few blog posts...

Most importantly though must be the way people get what they want. I have already complained about the amount of time it often takes me to get things or order them, such as the catastrophe of our wifi purchasing in July showed. But now things are quite simple. If someone says "Sunday," I usually plan for Wednesday. And if you want to make extra sure something gets done or gets done well, just slip in ten rupees or twenty rupees and that'll do the trick. And if people still aren't listening to you? That's when you pull the "I'm disappointed in you, I will take my business elsewhere, can't anyone do this right" card. Because while people may grumble and complain (the customer is always right mentality DEFINITELY doesn't apply here), they realize they have a lot of competition for your business since the guy next door is probably selling the exact same thing.

Of course, this leaves me with some of the aspects I love most about Indian communication. For one, people are so direct here. "What is your name" can just as promptly be followed up with "How much money do you make." If someone has any problem at school, they come directly to me with it. Or if you are in the woman's way on her scooter, she'll yell at you immediately. No beating around the bush here. And this also makes people so much more affectionate and generous. It didn't take long for the girls at school to be telling me how much they love "Jenny Ma'am" or for my school teachers to try and force feed me everything in sight when they thought I looked too thin! Me, too thin? Ha! I think that's the moment I feel in love with this country...So for now, especially to my lovely Indian friends, keep on keeping on. Or as you say, cu l8r ;)